You are a Family Attorney, Not a Marriage Counselor
Despite (good) Attorneys being able to persuade someone to see things from their point of view (or the point of view of their client), it is a different story when they are trying to get two separate people to come to an agreement. Particularly when the Attorney is not directly involved in that agreement.
Such is the case of the dreaded Mediation of divorcing marriages.
The purpose of mediation is to get the failing couple into the same room and negotiate who is going to get what when they separate. Hopefully, this is done without the use of any weapons, real or verbal. The problem is, Family Attorneys are trained in the intricate art of pillaging a wrecked life promise, not in the art of rebuilding rapport between two people who, quite possibly, have grown to genuinely hate one another.
A few reasons why immature couples can create mediation nightmares:
The couple is so pissed at each other that they will not even speak, and if they are in the same room, the walls set on fire due to angry outbursts.
One party is in so much denial over the divorce that they will absolutely refuse to cooperate, attempting to doom their mate to a true ‘until death do we part’ marriage of ‘Oh my god, get over yourself you needy, pathetic prick/bitch.’
One, and in more electric situations, both parties are having an affair, and that adds a third or fourth level of cat-fight or wrestling match inducing verbal manipulation.
One party is being so stubborn that they are not open to shared custody rights to the poor children they are putting through this, with complete disregard to what would be best for them. This is usually because that party is simply pissed, or it’s ‘inconvenient.’ Yes, having your child was ‘inconvenient.’
There is something called a collaborative divorce, and it is this mythical process where two fully-grown adults act maturely and recognize their marriage is ending, yet work in a civil manner to see that each party is looked after in the best way possible so they can move on with their lives with the least amount of stress and pain.
Yeah, those are pretty tough to come by. So, if you are a Family Attorney, and you cannot seem to find this holy grail of divorce situations, stick to what you are good at, and leave the mediation to someone who can actually mediate.
Like a therapist.