Ex-Husbands and Ex-Wives Living Together After Divorce

Florida currently has one of the highest foreclosure rates in the United States. With that come couples who wish to divorce but do not have the financial means to do so. Because of Florida’s high unemployment rate, which is at a staggering twelve percent, many divorcing couples are allowing their homes to face foreclosure. Many other divorced couples cannot afford to live on their own and choose to live in the same house, living separate lives.

What these couples are doing is not healthy for the relationship between themselves and others, especially when children are involved. This kind of living arrangement places stress on divorcing couples and their children. As a result of increasing numbers of divorcing couples with financial issues, a few foreclosure law firms in Florida have expanded their services to include family law.

With the expansion of family law services to communities in Florida stricken with the ill effects of the recession, this will allow divorcing couples a means of parting amicably and with little resentment towards one another. What these law firms are doing will only impact its clientele in a positive way.

Your Facebook Status Could Get You A Divorce

With today’s technology and online social networking, infidelity among spouses is easier to catch more than ever. With than in mind, it is also easier to prove in court. Cell phones, emails, and the many social networking websites provide credible means for evidence.

Many married men and women cautiously spend time on social networking websites looking for new friends and relationships, leading to infidelity. Emails, text messages, and even instant message logs can be used as evidence in a divorce case. In some states, adultery is required for divorce; however, in others, grounds for divorce is not required.

Be careful of what you post online and who you email and send text messages to. A single status update on Facebook or flirtatious emails can ruin your marriage.

The Never-Ending Divorce

Divorce occasionally leads to a situation where both spouses have difficulty reaching an agreement. The disagreements are usually over division of property and other assets, child and spousal support, and particularly child custody. They can lead to a prolonged and long-drawn-out legal process, leaving both parties exhausted from each other and at a dead-end with the divorce process.

Two main reasons why divorces take so long to finalize is because of the overwhelming emotions from both spouses getting in the way of the process, and choosing the “wrong” lawyer. Some emotionally damaged spouses seek revenge in the legal form and want to make their spouse pay for what they did wrong. It also does not help when they choose a lawyer who makes the divorce lengthier by making the situation more litigious.

What I recommend to any couple seeking divorce is to be realistic and to consider what is most important, for the sake of your own self and those around you. Do not be vindictive, and choose a lawyer who will benefit both spouses and any children caught in the storm.

50/50 Child Custody in Tennessee

A proposed bill in Tennessee is stirring up trouble between divorced and unmarried parents attempting to work out custody arrangements over their children. The bill being proposed would evenly split child custody between both parents, and is already creating friction between mothers and fathers.

On one hand, women, some judges, and even the Tennessee Bar Association argue that the bill would make divorces more difficult to settle and give abusive ex-husbands/partners control they should not have in the first place. They also argue that spending half the time with each parent will place unreasonable schedules on the children.

On the other hand, men, who want full relationships with their children, argue they are being deprived of quality time, and say courts disregard custody decisions to be based in the best interest of children and overrate the mother-and-child bond but ignore the father-and- child bond.

Representative Mike Bell, the bill's key sponsor, introduced the bill after hearing complaints from his constituents. He hopes it will push parents to reassess divorce in the best interest of the children.

However, it is undeniable that maintaining proper relationships with both parents is vital to children's overall health, whether the parents are together or not. When parents are unable to come to an agreement, significant stress can be placed on children. Separation and divorce is never easy on the children.

The Prenup Trend

A lot of people tend to believe and follow exactly what the media portrays. Even if a lot of it is bull, and we even know it's bull, we still tend to look at life through this tunnel-vision of celebrities and news. What they show us on television and the internet must be what life is actually like.

Clearly, it's not. But when it comes to Prenuptial Agreements, it seems the fad is growing, no thanks the ever-volatile hollywood romance.

Hollywood celebrities are notorious for having quick, passionate, and often entertaining (for those watching) relationships that end in a financial disaster for one party. The term "Gold-Digger" comes to mind. Most of these celebrities have tons of money and estates that they were looking to keep, no matter how much they "love" their current fling, and that's why they sign prenuptial agreements.

You also see a lot of this in movies.

The truth of the matter is, in 2002, a mere 1% of marriages begin with a prenuptial agreement, even though currently 50% of marriages currently end in divorce. However, and while this may not seem like a significant rise, now 3% of marriages begin with the agreement. Between the disheartening divorce rate, and the images protrayed by promiscuous celebrities, of course it seems like a great idea to protect your assets.

If you have assets to protect.

A prenup can be a difficult thing to talk about when you're in the throes of love. Couples want to savor the bliss, not worry about the potential of a breakup one year, five years, or ten years down the line. Truly though, a prenup is only necessary if there are excessive inheritances, funds, or estates to be concerned about. Most normal couples happen to have an excess of debt, not money to be split up.

So before jumping on the bandwagon, and having a potentially mood-killing wedding-planning conversation, consider what exactly it is you are protecting from your spouse before you go telling them you don't want them in on it.

'Til death do us part. By Law. Unless you really screw up.

There's something called a "No Fault" divorce. This basically means what it sounds like. A married couple can have a dissolution of the marriage without any particular evidence of wrongdoing by any party.

No adultery, no beatings, no child abuse...sometimes things just don't work. Understandable, right?

State Senate Michelle McManus of Michigan wants to put an end to No Fault divorce in Michigan. She explains that it's hurting the economy, because only couples can generate enough income to start their own businesses (there's no citation or sources to what she's saying, so who knows if that's true), and that it would have a positive impact on marriages to come. She claims the current laws allows people to be irresponsible, and cause situations where fathers get their rights to see their children revoked merely because the mother fears physical abuse when no physical abuse is apparent.

Obviously, there is an exception for every rule, but I, for one, am an advocate of the "No Fault" divorce. And here's my reasoning for it:

If a couple is going to get married, and there are going to be extremely strict rules regarding what makes them eligible for a divorce (which, according to McManus are as follows: "specific problems such as adultery, physical abuse, imprisonment, physical incompetence at time of marriage, or that a spouse had sex with an animal or dead human body.") then shouldn't there be extremely strict rules regarding marriage itself?

How do you go about testing whether someone is responsible enough or not for marriage? It's not a driver's test. Driving is the same from the beginning to the end. Cars and the rules of the road don't change throughout the course of your life (not to an extent that a person would). People, on the other hand, change. Things happen that we can't predict. Therefore, there is no way to test if two people who absolutely love each other and are devoted to one another at this point, and also happen to be extremely responsible human beings, aren't going to change or experience hardship down the line and decide this marriage isn't right for them.

Then what's the guy got to do to get out of it? Beat his wife or copulate with a horse?

Marriage and divorce are big decisions. I know this. And yes, marriage is sacred and divorce is horrible, so we want to preserve it. But life's tough. The laws governing both these actions should work for the couples, not against them.

What you don't know actually CAN hurt you.

In previous posts I've mentioned mothers who have been beaten by their own sons and still had to pay the court costs. I've mentioned the process of mediation and how it's a process separate from that of a family lawyer. Today's topic brings the two together in a fashion that may help a lot of families that are struggling with domestic violence. The reason I bring these two previous posts up is because The Chief Justice of the Family Court wants to go into current regulations, play with the pipes a little, and make sure there is little to no chance of them exploding when a deteriorating family is brought to court due to violence.

Lots of things can go wrong when a marriage goes sour. There are discrepancies over money, over children, over time and possessions, there are intense emotions to be dealt with, but when violence gets involved, those cases tend to take precedence. Marriage is sacred, yes, but so is the value of a human life, and no separation should result, or should be the result of, violence.

The process is as follows: When families see mediators, they are often trying to settle the divorce without the presence of the courts. But when the mediators fail, the court is their only resort. The problem is, what's said within mediation is confidential. This creates problems and it creates solutions. The solutions it creates allows families to be more open and honest, knowing that whatever they say is confidential, and this honesty can lead to an easier solved dissolution. However, the problems are created when the mediation fails and they must go to court...all the information that was presented in mediation is now confidential and unavailable to the courts.

And people are a lot less likely to say exactly what's on their mind or exactly what went down when they're standing in front of a judge.

The Chief Justice of the family court seeks to end the confidentiality among mediators in order to make court cases run a little bit smoother, and to protect partners and children who have been the victims of abuse, or may be potential victims.

Gay marriage rights? You got it. Gay divorce? Jeez, now you want everything!

I have a focus in Family Law. That means that it is my duty to make sure the sanctity of what it means to be a family is upheld, whether a family is coming together or falling apart. Unfortunately, the legal system is all about technicalities, so when I hear about things like this, it makes me a little frustrated.

Here's the scoop: In 2005, two women elope in the state of Massachusetts, move to Texas, and adopt a son. Now, it doesn't matter whether your gay or straight, sometimes marriages just don't work. That's the nature of love. It's a fickle creature. Sometimes we just can't hold onto it. Unfortunately for this couple, since there currently no law in Texas allowing gay couples to get married, there's no law in Texas allowing their divorce. Texas wants to make the marriage void...as if it never happened in the first place. Which makes custody, property, and other situations a huge issue, and it's also a big slap in the face to the gay community. "What do you mean it never happened in the first place?"

While gay marriage is only permitted in a few states as of now, that doesn't mean that those couples plan to stay in those states, or that something may occur that could cause the couple to split. And because of that, it should be on the agenda of state lawmakers to create laws to handle the situations of those who wanted nothing more than an innocent marriage and unfortunately weren't able to keep the knot tied.

Make love, not divorce

Happy Valentine's day everyone, today is the day to spend with that special someone who you truly care about. When we are single, we can work on ourselves, we can focus on what matters in our lives and how to achieve what we want. But when we are in a relationship, the focus goes to the other person; we suddenly have divided attention. And this is a good thing.

But after years of being together, it can be easy to slip into old habits and turn our lives into routine. Then we not only forget to focus on our significant other, but we also forget to focus on ourselves, and after time we feel lost. So we either separate or get a divorce, but it doesn't have to be this way.

If we all strive to make it work, it can. It just takes a lot of effort, and in our society it's just easier to drop it and move on. And if that is what is necessary, I good family lawyer like myself can help with this complicated process. But try as hard as you can, specially if you have kids, to make things work.

Even though your Dad's not there, it totally feels like he's there.

Every once in a while, the media lightens up, especially on all things considered law, and there is a pleasant story to be told. This is one of those stories that I'm happy to bring you.

Family Law is a tough facet of the legal system, and it doesn't take a genius for anyone to guess it's because of the children. They didn't ask for any of this to happen. They were born innocently into a dysfunctional marriage, and they can't understand why it is that mommy and daddy are leaving one another. After all, most of the time they both love mommy and daddy, so doesn't that mean that mommy and daddy should love one another too? And if they don't, what does this mean for them?

Children are concerned about one thing in divorces that aren't too dramatic, i.e. a collaborative divorce: How am I going to get to see both my parents and continue to lead the life I'm liking thus far?

Advances in the times require advances in the law. Prior to this decade, custodial arrangements were made regarding visits and phone calls, but nowadays we've got all sorts of ways to communicate...text messaging, cell phones, social media sites like Facebook, and causing the most uproar currently is video messaging. And here's how it's changing the game.

Before, parents who lived in separate states or were not granted the visitation rights they would have liked, are now turning to services like Skype to connect with their children on a regular basis. These "video dates" are priceless to both the children and the parent, and really keep together what otherwise would have been the end of a father/mother figure. While specific laws and decisions by judges are still being ironed out in order to make sure such virtual visitations aren't damaging or upsetting to the children, it's still an amazing step in the right direction to transmute turmoil into harmony.

You are a Family Attorney, Not a Marriage Counselor

Despite (good) Attorneys being able to persuade someone to see things from their point of view (or the point of view of their client), it is a different story when they are trying to get two separate people to come to an agreement. Particularly when the Attorney is not directly involved in that agreement.

Such is the case of the dreaded Mediation of divorcing marriages.

The purpose of mediation is to get the failing couple into the same room and negotiate who is going to get what when they separate. Hopefully, this is done without the use of any weapons, real or verbal. The problem is, Family Attorneys are trained in the intricate art of pillaging a wrecked life promise, not in the art of rebuilding rapport between two people who, quite possibly, have grown to genuinely hate one another.

A few reasons why immature couples can create mediation nightmares:

• The couple is so pissed at each other that they will not even speak, and if they are in the same room, the walls set on fire due to angry outbursts.



• One party is in so much denial over the divorce that they will absolutely refuse to cooperate, attempting to doom their mate to a true 'until death do we part' marriage of 'Oh my god, get over yourself you needy, pathetic prick/bitch.'



• One, and in more electric situations, both parties are having an affair, and that adds a third or fourth level of cat-fight or wrestling match inducing verbal manipulation.



• One party is being so stubborn that they are not open to shared custody rights to the poor children they are putting through this, with complete disregard to what would be best for them. This is usually because that party is simply pissed, or it’s 'inconvenient.' Yes, having your child was 'inconvenient.'

There is something called a collaborative divorce, and it is this mythical process where two fully-grown adults act maturely and recognize their marriage is ending, yet work in a civil manner to see that each party is looked after in the best way possible so they can move on with their lives with the least amount of stress and pain.

Yeah, those are pretty tough to come by. So, if you are a Family Attorney, and you cannot seem to find this holy grail of divorce situations, stick to what you are good at, and leave the mediation to someone who can actually mediate.

Like a therapist.