Gay marriage rights? You got it. Gay divorce? Jeez, now you want everything!
I have a focus in Family Law. That means that it is my duty to make sure the sanctity of what it means to be a family is upheld, whether a family is coming together or falling apart. Unfortunately, the legal system is all about technicalities, so when I hear about things like this, it makes me a little frustrated.
Here's the scoop: In 2005, two women elope in the state of Massachusetts, move to Texas, and adopt a son. Now, it doesn't matter whether your gay or straight, sometimes marriages just don't work. That's the nature of love. It's a fickle creature. Sometimes we just can't hold onto it. Unfortunately for this couple, since there currently no law in Texas allowing gay couples to get married, there's no law in Texas allowing their divorce. Texas wants to make the marriage void...as if it never happened in the first place. Which makes custody, property, and other situations a huge issue, and it's also a big slap in the face to the gay community. "What do you mean it never happened in the first place?"
While gay marriage is only permitted in a few states as of now, that doesn't mean that those couples plan to stay in those states, or that something may occur that could cause the couple to split. And because of that, it should be on the agenda of state lawmakers to create laws to handle the situations of those who wanted nothing more than an innocent marriage and unfortunately weren't able to keep the knot tied.
I truly love being a Lawyer. At times it gets scary, with death threats and angry parties; this isn't a job for the weak of heart. Sometimes you have to be involved with people that you wouldn't normally hang out with or spend time with, but it's your job as a Lawyer to prove their innocence, and when the trial is over it's a rewarding feeling to know you changed the outcome of another person's life.
And it's exciting. The tension in the room, the facts and perspectives being presented, the anticipation of the verdict. I can't imagine myself doing anything else, and that's why I'm the best at what I do. You have to love what you do, that is the drive that keeps you going.
Here is a video clip that was on the news of one of my cases, it's unbelievable what happens on the streets sometimes. This teenager was just playing around with a toy gun and a neighbor calls the cops; now he has a bullethole in his back. This was a serious case, but I do want to stress the fact that any toy that looks like a weapon should be taken seriously; specially with the tension we are facing with terrorist threats. This kid was obviously not a threat, but it's a warning all the same.
As with my previous post about Jon and Kate plus ocho, and keeping in time with my most recent post with an epic theme, there is something to be said about celebrity marriages.
And that is...despite whatever crap they may be going through...they are down right entertaining.
It's the nature of the beast for celebrity marriages to be more complicated then your run of the mill marriage. Not only are there usually ungodly amounts of money and estates to be dealt with, not to mention uproarious irresponsible activities, but the entire world is constantly watching you. So if you look stupid, everyone's going to blame you for it. But that's why we watch! Because we want to see you do something stupid.
I can't say too much about whether Dennis Hopper is a good husband, or even a good father. But I do know the man has prostate cancer. And he's 73. Most likely, he doesn't have too many days left. So, in this particular case, it's Victoria Hopper-Duffy who has gone and done something stupid.
Hopper's so sick that he's vomiting every time he takes his medication. He weighs 120 lbs. And Victoria went ahead and didn't tell the man that she was taking his daughter to Boston for what may be his last Christmas alive. Hopper isn't the only one calling this lady malevolent (this is where it gets epic)...the courts and papers are calling the woman a villian. Insane. Out of her mind.
INHUMAN.
I'm going to use that the next time I find myself in the clutches of an evil woman. Call her inhuman.
Hopper has gone and filed a restraining order on miss inhumanity, not allowing her within 10 feet of him, his son, his daughter, or his assistant. (Wow, actually protecting the assistant. She must do good work.)
Hopper, whatever time you got left...bring out the big guns. Let the bitch have it.
I love it when "adults" use the computer. Okay, maybe I should be more specific. I love when "adults" use social networking sites. Because most of the time they have no idea what they're doing.
In what's being dubbed "e-misbehavior" (what I don't love are stupid new techie terms), sites like Facebook are becoming more and more popular forms of divorce inducing situations and evidence in court. It used to just be dating sites where a moron placed an ad that wasn't too discreet. I mean, forget sites like AshleyMadison.com where the whole point is to cheat. The owners of AshleyMadison.com are there to HELP you make sure you don't get caught.
If you don't know what you're doing, you probably shouldn't be cheating. And you most definitely shouldn't be cheating using Facebook. Here's why:
Not only can what you say be grossly misinterpreted due to lack of tone and context online, but most adult users (I'm speaking about the 40+ demographic) are grossly unaware of how public their meanderings into affair-ville actually are. Facebook's privacy settings are difficult enough to set up even if you know what you're doing. It's quite difficult to lead a private life on what is a...wait for it....social networking site. The whole point is to be social and for everyone and their mother (could be your mother) knowing what the hell you're doing.
So a simple poke, chat, status update, message, or comment can inadvertently bring down an entire marriage if you're not careful.
Oh, and everyone will know about it too. And probably laugh. It's going to sting.
What's that? You want me to let you get married? Do that dance.
While I'm not necessarily against unorthodox methods in the courtroom...or obvious abuse of the power of authority...I always love to hear about it. Judges all have their quirks. Some of them get their own television shows. Judge Nancy Berger likes to make couples dance before her when seeking a waiver of the 72-hour waiting period before getting married.
Can somebody get a you tube video of this?
Lisa Hoppes, who is challenging Berger for the bench, actually is against unorthodox methods in the courtroom, and plans to make sure all this dancing business ceases when she wins. Notice how I said "when."
I should probably change my wording, since method isn't exactly what is going on here...making someone dance to get a waiver in a courtroom truly is against the rules. It's freakin' hilarious though. It's also clear proof of Milgram's experiment, where people are more likely to act upon ridiculous, or even dangerous, requests when being told to do so by a figure of authority.
So, if you're trying to get hitched, and the judge asks you to prove your love for your mate by dancing...feel free to tell her to "no." (You can't disrespect them, that is contempt of court. But you can tell them no, since dancing is not required in a court of law).
And here I am, in the news. One of the most rewarding parts about being a successful attorney is to be able to help tough cases, it's not all about the money as so many people expect. The justice system in this country is the most robust and fair system I have ever seen, and I would know; I have traveled most parts of the world and nothing comes close. In a police state, the police literally has the say, you do not receive a trial or a jury. But this country was founded on freedom, and you cannot have that freedom without a fair court system.
Happy Valentine's day everyone, today is the day to spend with that special someone who you truly care about. When we are single, we can work on ourselves, we can focus on what matters in our lives and how to achieve what we want. But when we are in a relationship, the focus goes to the other person; we suddenly have divided attention. And this is a good thing.
But after years of being together, it can be easy to slip into old habits and turn our lives into routine. Then we not only forget to focus on our significant other, but we also forget to focus on ourselves, and after time we feel lost. So we either separate or get a divorce, but it doesn't have to be this way.
If we all strive to make it work, it can. It just takes a lot of effort, and in our society it's just easier to drop it and move on. And if that is what is necessary, I good family lawyer like myself can help with this complicated process. But try as hard as you can, specially if you have kids, to make things work.
You have much to learn young Padawan---er, Special Master.
There are a lot of funny legal words that a lot of laymen don't quite understand, but we've got our fun, epic names too. Judge isn't all that epic...unless you're the Supreme Court Justice. That's epic. Attorney, Lawyer, stuff like that though, they don't really strike fear into the hearts of men and women. Unless the world knows for damn SURE you're guilty.
So what's to save this facet of government from boring titles? Enter Special Master!
What they do isn't exactly as cool as it sounds, but I'm kind of a Star Wars guy myself, so I can imagine something cool going down when these characters get together. You might be asking "What the hell is a Special Master?"
Teach you, I will. (Yes, Yoda reference, forgive me).
Special Masters are experts in the field of Family Law, and they are the "go to folks" when shit gets hairy. They're the old man (or woman) at the top of the mountain that has all the answers. When a third party opinion is necessary, and the Family Law attorney can't seem to get matters settled on his own, he gets in line with all the other questioning Family Law Attorneys to meet these gurus.
Family Attorneys and their parties meet (and this is where I imagine cool things going down) once a month at "Special Master Sessions", where they are given the opportunity to present their case to one male and one female Special Master. It's like they're entering some majestic temple where they will be bestowed with the wisdom required to carry about their grand journey...through the legal system.
It seems a bit extraneous, but a staggering eighty percent of cases that are presented to Special Masters are being settled without a trial, which makes the parties (and the Judges) very happy.
See, even lawyers can think outside of the box! What's a good way to get the attention of your local district court and its citizens when you want to be the next judge? Run for the election!
No, seriously. Run for it. Get your ass out there, rock those short shorts, and haul yourself across the entire god damn county. And do it with a smile!
Brad Morris, a distinguished family law attorney, mediator, and former associate judge (and apparently passionate long-distance runner) is making a statement this election season by literally running for Judge. His reasoning behind actually makes sense too. He's out there to get a solid sense of the county, its layout, its citizens, and its needs. He welcomes all citizens of Harris County to stop and say hello, letting people know when he'll be running and what routes he'll be taking.
What a trooper. I hope the guy makes it. If I ran for Judge...well, I'd just sit on my ass and have someone make me commercials. Go Morris!
Jon and Kate plus 8. And Hailey. And me. Wait, how many is that?
Look here, folks, lawyers can get buzz too! As you can see, I've been featured in this week's "In Touch" magazine, with a little bit of legal counseling on the side of Kate...from Jon and Kate...plus eight.
I'm not exactly the "reality show" type, but it's kinda neat to be able to stick my head into the situation just enough so that people recognize I'm there and at the same time I don't have papparazzi showing up at my door. It shouldn't come to any of you as a surprise that reality shows such as this can stumble upon (or intentionally create) legal conundrums that us actually working professionals have to sort out.
But let it be said here...whether the pending divorce of Jon and Kate is a fictitious publicity stunt or genuine marriage dissolution, I'm in it for the Plus 8. It's bad enough that those poor kids have been subjected to pointless mass voyeurism, let alone a divorce including a potential new step-mommy with a drug history.
Even though your Dad's not there, it totally feels like he's there.
Every once in a while, the media lightens up, especially on all things considered law, and there is a pleasant story to be told. This is one of those stories that I'm happy to bring you.
Family Law is a tough facet of the legal system, and it doesn't take a genius for anyone to guess it's because of the children. They didn't ask for any of this to happen. They were born innocently into a dysfunctional marriage, and they can't understand why it is that mommy and daddy are leaving one another. After all, most of the time they both love mommy and daddy, so doesn't that mean that mommy and daddy should love one another too? And if they don't, what does this mean for them?
Children are concerned about one thing in divorces that aren't too dramatic, i.e. a collaborative divorce: How am I going to get to see both my parents and continue to lead the life I'm liking thus far?
Advances in the times require advances in the law. Prior to this decade, custodial arrangements were made regarding visits and phone calls, but nowadays we've got all sorts of ways to communicate...text messaging, cell phones, social media sites like Facebook, and causing the most uproar currently is video messaging. And here's how it's changing the game.
Before, parents who lived in separate states or were not granted the visitation rights they would have liked, are now turning to services like Skype to connect with their children on a regular basis. These "video dates" are priceless to both the children and the parent, and really keep together what otherwise would have been the end of a father/mother figure. While specific laws and decisions by judges are still being ironed out in order to make sure such virtual visitations aren't damaging or upsetting to the children, it's still an amazing step in the right direction to transmute turmoil into harmony.
Texas mother is beaten by son, incurs legal fees. Chores still not done.
Theresa Fuller has a troubled son. He must be. Either that or he must really not like her, because he’s been arrested over twenty times for parental abuse. Theresa’s son, whose name has not been disclosed due to his being underage, has a long history of beating his poor mother, which is incredible considering he’s 15 years old. I don’t think I’d kissed a girl yet at 15, let alone beat someone hard enough to get arrested. And this was all because he refused to do his chores. Punk.
Theresa, naturally, felt the need to call the police after having the wind knocked out of her, and then having her head banged on the leg of a table while on the floor. What she didn’t expect, was that because she is her son’s only possible legal guardian (father, aunts, uncles, grandparents all seem to be absent), she’s found herself trapped in an unfortunate legal loophole where she has to pay for all her son’s legal and court fees.
Even. Though. He. Beat. Her.
While she is able to apply for compensation through the District Attorney’s office that would cover counseling for her son and her own medical expenses, the whole legal shebang is on her. Theresa is currently in talks with State Representatives to help create or modify laws that would help her situation…unfortunately there aren’t many situations like hers.
I understand that not every circumstance can be accounted for by the law in advance, but in the case of a woman being beaten to the point of acute amnesia, it’s beyond ridiculous that the state would actually force her to pay for her own battering.
You are a Family Attorney, Not a Marriage Counselor
Despite (good) Attorneys being able to persuade someone to see things from their point of view (or the point of view of their client), it is a different story when they are trying to get two separate people to come to an agreement. Particularly when the Attorney is not directly involved in that agreement.
Such is the case of the dreaded Mediation of divorcing marriages.
The purpose of mediation is to get the failing couple into the same room and negotiate who is going to get what when they separate. Hopefully, this is done without the use of any weapons, real or verbal. The problem is, Family Attorneys are trained in the intricate art of pillaging a wrecked life promise, not in the art of rebuilding rapport between two people who, quite possibly, have grown to genuinely hate one another.
A few reasons why immature couples can create mediation nightmares:
The couple is so pissed at each other that they will not even speak, and if they are in the same room, the walls set on fire due to angry outbursts.
One party is in so much denial over the divorce that they will absolutely refuse to cooperate, attempting to doom their mate to a true 'until death do we part' marriage of 'Oh my god, get over yourself you needy, pathetic prick/bitch.'
One, and in more electric situations, both parties are having an affair, and that adds a third or fourth level of cat-fight or wrestling match inducing verbal manipulation.
One party is being so stubborn that they are not open to shared custody rights to the poor children they are putting through this, with complete disregard to what would be best for them. This is usually because that party is simply pissed, or it’s 'inconvenient.' Yes, having your child was 'inconvenient.'
There is something called a collaborative divorce, and it is this mythical process where two fully-grown adults act maturely and recognize their marriage is ending, yet work in a civil manner to see that each party is looked after in the best way possible so they can move on with their lives with the least amount of stress and pain.
Yeah, those are pretty tough to come by. So, if you are a Family Attorney, and you cannot seem to find this holy grail of divorce situations, stick to what you are good at, and leave the mediation to someone who can actually mediate.
